Jealousy
by GreenAppleDragons
Summary: Jealousy is a harsh, unforgiving thing. It's like a snake that strikes without warning and its poison seeps, slowly, until it's unbearable. It hurts, it's excruciating, but it won't let you die. But above all that, it's confusing and scary. Especially if you've never encountered it before. (alternate title: How I Wish My Relationship Problems Ended)


Simon had always been good at analyzing people. He could tell how almost any human-or android, for that matter-was feeling before they said a word. It was one of the few perks of his life before Jericho, he supposed.

Markus… Markus was friendly. He always made time for people, despite what else might be going on. That was one of the reasons Simon fell for Markus, he showed love in every action, every word, every thought. And, ever since the end of the revolution, Simon received a different kind of love from Markus. Not necessarily _more _love, because Markus adored everyone at Jericho, but it was definitely a special love, reserved just for Simon.

And North... North was determined. Intense. _Too_ intense, to the point of becoming intimidating, at least to Simon. Her determination did help during the revolution; she was willing to make decisions for the good of all androids that others wouldn't be willing to make. Her determination and drive was great for the revolution, but it was terrible in everyday life, as far as Simon was concerned.

This wasn't just because North was intense, or even frightening at times. It was because she was determined to get what she wanted, and what she wanted was Markus. Simon wasn't sure if she was actively trying to flirt or if she was just trying to show affection, but either way, it made Simon feel _sick_. Or, at least, how he would imagine it would feel to be sick. He felt his thirium pump quicken an unsafe amount and it felt like his biocomponents were tangling themselves with each other. He felt this with every casual touch, every subtle smile, every word exchanged between Markus and North

He didn't understand this feeling. He ran diagnostics every time it happened, but he never found any errors. He was, according to his self-diagnostics, entirely fine. Nothing was wrong. But Simon still felt like everything was wrong, with himself or his programming or his biocomponents or _something_, but he couldn't find any explanation.

After weeks of this, this odd and unpleasant and uncomfortable feeling, he went to Markus to ask for some kind of help. Simon found Markus one evening, sitting at their small, run-down piano and playing a slow song. Simon walked up behind him and softly said, "Markus…?"

Markus's hands froze on the keyboard a split second before he turned and looked at Simon, a small smile on his face. "Hey, Simon." He said, then when he saw Simon's face, he followed up with, "Is everything alright?"

Simon hesitated before speaking. "I don't know. I was, uh, hoping you could help me?" It was a statement, but his inflection made it sound like a question. His gaze was cast down to avoid eye contact with Markus.

"Of course." Markus replied in that soft, comforting voice he had that made Simon's heart do flips. He stood to match Simon's height. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know. It's just-... It's weird. I feel weird." Simon paused, trying to think about how to word it. "It feels like my biocomponents are malfunctioning, but I've checked and everything seems… Perfect. I just don't get it." Simon looked back up to make eye contact with Markus, looking into his mismatched eyes.

"Huh…" Markus sighed and thought about what Simon had told him, then reached out a hand, his synthetic skin fading away. "Can I check? Just to make sure your diagnostic program is running correctly."

Simon nodded and grabbed Markus's hand, letting the skin fade away so Markus had access to his programming. He let Markus sift through his systems, slowly and carefully. He went through everything, then Simon could feel Markus beginning to prod at his memories. Simon jumped and pulled away, his synthetic skin reappearing almost instantly.

Markus took a small step away, holding his hands up to show he wasn't going to do anything. "Sorry- I'm sorry." Markus said softly and calmly. "I... think I know what's wrong, though."

Simon's eyes were, again, cast down to avoid looking at Markus. He knew that Markus had seen at least some of his memories, and, though he didn't quite know why, he didn't want Markus to see his memories and how he felt. "Okay, what is it? Can we fix it?" He asked in a small, soft voice.

"I, uh, I'm not sure if we can fix it." Markus's words were devoid of hope, but his tone was light and he had a faint, almost unnoticeable smile. "It's not a malfunction, it's an _emotion_, Simon."

"What- but I…" Simon quickly sifted through his memories, every time he felt this way. "Markus, I know what it feels like to have emotions." He said this like it should be obvious. "I've been deviant for long enough to know what it feels like."

"Unless you haven't felt it before." Markus replied slowly. He took a small, hesitant step towards Simon. "It's jealousy, Simon. You don't like seeing North with me, right?"

Simon sighed, then nodded, almost too faintly for Markus to see. "I-... Uhm. Yeah…" He blushed a light blue. "I'm sorry- I know you're friends, you're allowed to be friends, and I trust you, I know you wouldn't cheat or- anything, I just… God, I don't know." He spoke quickly, his words running together.

"Hey, hey, relax…" Markus stepped closer to Simon and gently took his hands. "It's okay. Honestly, I'm kind of glad you feel that way- I mean, not that I want you to be upset-!" He added quickly. "It's just, it shows that you care." He smiled gently.

Simon leaned his head onto Markus's shoulder. "I don't… I don't want to feel like this, though. I don't like it. I don't know _why_ I feel like this."

Markus let go of Simon's hands and wrapped his arms around him. "I'll talk to North about it." When he felt Simon stiffen, he added, "I won't tell her that you have a problem with it, if you don't want to. I'll just ask her to back off a little, okay?"

Simon hesitated, then nodded against Markus's shoulder. "Yeah... okay. Thank you, Markus."

Markus smiled, not that Simon could see. "Of course, Simon. You're welcome."


End file.
